i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
