You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
