I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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