belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
