I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
