I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Congratulations! We have a period
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