Define "chronic" masturbator.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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