but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
