i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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