I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
