the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
