yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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