I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize