Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
