Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
