Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
only if we run a train.
done.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
