I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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