y did u give ur computer a hand job?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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