So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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