Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize