I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
