i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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