He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
