I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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