My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize