I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize
