You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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