That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
