when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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