I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
