Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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