I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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