ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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