I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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