if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
