cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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