I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
25 People Confess What Theyâ€™re Shamefully Attracted To
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Anyone see the sob who took the piÃ±ata?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk