so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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