i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
