i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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