11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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