I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
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He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
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I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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