Your dad touched me again.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
