dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
