I think im going to throw up on grandma
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
