forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
