did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize