he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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