Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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