They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
And then he peed in my hair
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