Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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