Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
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