You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
