i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
