More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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