I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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