You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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