note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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