dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
