You're completely useless in the revolution.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
