I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
